Merge Worship

In our staff meeting this week, I felt like we should talk about how to deal with inter-personal conflict. I came up with 4 guidelines for dealing with conflict. This is by no means an all-inclusive list, just some of my thoughts.

1.Always Look Inwardly before addressing faults in others.-Jesus said that we shouldn’t try and remove sawdust from someone else’s eye before removing the plank in our own. (Matthew 7:3-5) Everyone knows that the eye is a sensitive area to be poking around. As a guy who has contacts, I know what the pain of missing the contact and hitting the eye is all about. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. Refusing to look inwardly before dealing with inter-personal conflict can cloud our vision and make us do more harm than good for those we serve with.

2.Confront Directly-While it is acceptable, and sometimes admirable, to seek advice from other trusted leaders, if anything is going to be solved you have to address the person directly. Matthew 18:15 says that “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” Another passage says that love covers a multitude of sins.(1 Peter 4:8) As leaders, I believe we should cover those that serve around, with and over us. We should not, however, ignore attitudes or actions that are detrimental to our team environments. We should confront head on and in love.

3.Find the Deeper Issue- So many times, the issue, or conflict, is indicative of a deeper issue. We should Ask the Holy Spirit to help us overlook their actions and give us discernment to find the "heart of the matter". We can spend our time diagnosing symptoms, or we can find out what is truly happening in the heart of the other person, and ourselves, and ask God for deep, inner healing of our relationships.

4.Seek to be Reconciled over being right- Relationships are always more important than issues. That doesn’t mean that we can’t, or shouldn’t provide discipline or correction, but it means that when hit with an impasse, that we should lead the way in humility and reconciliation. 1 Corinthians 5:18-19 says; "All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation." I'm personally thankful that God isn't counting my sins against me. I want desperately to be like Him in that regard. That doesn't mean that there's is never a time to part ways or ask volunteers to step down, but I believe it does mean that regardless of how relationships shake out there is always room for forgiveness.