Merge Worship

This really resonates with me today. I was listening to James MacDonald on the way into work today and his sermon was from 1 Peter 1. Talking about Hope. Talking about how we as Christians often put hope in the wrong things. We put hope in our stuff and our money thinking we'll be happy if we just have ___. We wrongly put our hope in our family and friends. We put our hope in our church and our church leaders, and we put our hope in our own abilities. The sad reality is, though, all of these will let us down. Even our family, church and church leaders will fall short and not be everything we need or want or hope that they are.

Only when our hope is in the unfailing grace and precious, redeeming blood of Christ, can we be absolutely rock solid. We can count on Him, for He will never let us down. We can put all our eggs in that basket. And very truly it is not until we do, not until we go "all in," not until we surrender everything to Him, that will we know how precious and amazing is His faithfulness. Oh, but when we do, those times when we really give in and give up and give everything to Him, oh, in those times, we see the glory of God. And awesome it is. The joy cannot be contained. Oh, Lord, I pray that I can get to that place so much more that I do. I pray that my brothers and sisters can find that place in faith. That they can surrender to you and that when they do, that you will pour out your grace on them and let them experience your full glory. For, Lord, once they do, they will never be the same. How could they. Thank you, Lord, for hearing me and for answering my prayer. Blessed by your name forever more. Amen.

You are attempting and feeling a noble call. It is a level that many Christians never reach. I'm not sure I'm even close to what you are talking about. I "know" what we should be doing, but to be honest, I still connect with people much better than I connect vertically to Christ.
Personal praise makes me feel good from time-to-time, and to be honest, I don't like criticism. Unfortunately, criticism seems to be voiced much more than praise these days and many times I just tune it out. I'm certain that this is not healthy, but it is a coping skill nonetheless. I have forced myself from time-to-time to be objective (as possible) and during those brief moments I have grown the most.
So, what about pointing people to God and directing all the glory to Him? I fall short. While my aim is dead on, many times my follow-through is way off. I know how to motivate the masses, but sometimes fail to motivate myself.
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When I was at Hillsong, a visiting minister quoted one of the Wesley brothers as saying, "Am I to lead someone in worship, or am I to set myself afire in worship and let them see me burn?" (I'm sure that's a little misquoted.) I constantly tell the praise team here not to lead people in worship, but to worship themselves, and it will simply happen. I don't really know if that's accurate or not, but it seems to make sense to me these days. However, it cuts against all of the leadership training that has been poured into me. It seems like this is what you are attempting too - not necessarily to "lead" but to "model".
Well, gotta run clean the house before the Mrs. arrives. Thanks for challenging me and allowing me to color outside the lines today.